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Hey.
I made the choice a few weeks ago to try WeightWatchers again. Now, I have always thought that paying a fee to eat properly, was a bit daft. And when I tried it earlier this year, I failed within weeks, so decided the process was a scam.

The thing is, I weigh my heaviest, so I need to do something. I have been working on my mental health a lot, like trying to recognise when I feel low or stressed, and trying to minimise the effect. It sounds silly. But if I can take myself out of a stressy situation, I know it can make things a lot better.

I then started the gym a few months back, and that was a major boost to me. I felt like I could sweat out all the bad stuff, and although it sounds stupid, it actually helped. So because I was in a better place, and because so many people I know swear by it, I tried weight watchers again.

And?

So far so good. I am starting my third week, and I am still tracking, still doing everything daily. Which is good. It's easy when You have a bad day, to forget the app and plans exist, and ignore them for a few days. But I have been making an effort to try and note everything I eat, regardless whether I am over or under my target. And it is working. I am making conscious decisions to make better choices with food. Which is rather empowering.

The big help is that the app for weight watchers has a social media aspect now, called connect. And, well, I am a social media addict, so of course that was a hit with me. But it's good, because it gives you the benefit of the community, without attending the meetings (which I can't do because of work).

Feeling pretty optimistic, so fingers crossed.

Daily post the Second

SO that is my first day back at work done. And it was fairly straight forward. The project that I have been working on for the last couple of weeks is coming to and end. Which is great, I'll be able to go back and do my normal job. It has been over a month since I have been there, and I know I am going to be like a stranger, with all the new starts coming for Peak.

I came home, got a half pizza supper, and watched some of the celtic and Borussia Monchagladbach(?) game, which was boring. And I spent the night browsing the web, watching The Gilmore Girls. A perfect way to end the day.

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Dailypost???

Today has been a super productive for me. It is the day before work, so it is not too unusual for me to have the busiest day of my weekend on a Tuesday. It is almost like, I realise that I haven't done everything I wanted, so I'd better get some shit done. It is comical, really.

I have been trying to get back into going to the gym again, which is good but hard. I only stopped going for a few weeks, but that is enough to get me feeling a little sluggish about going. But last week I started weightwatchers for the second time, so I thought it would be a good idea to start the gym again. At least try and make some progress to getting healthier, seeing as how I am crap at planning and have zero willpower with food. Uch. I went 2 times last week, and 2 times this week, so I think that is pretty good. As long as I go at least once a week, I get more than the value of the £22 a month I pay for the gym.

I also filmed a video today, for the first time in forever. I have been really struggling with my creativity, in general, so I thought I would try and get back into making videos too. Rather than making just random 'my life sucks' videos, going to try and focus on doing promotions of shows, books and things that I like. Here is the video. Appologies if you watch, I have a cold still, so I am not 100% clear spoken.

Sicky McSickSick

I feel like crap. Have done for the last few days. I have a bad head cold, which isn't too bad. But when I am at work, it feels 10 times worse. It is all that recycled air, and being in close contact with lots of people, who all have varying degrees of the cold or flu. It means, I was fine on Wednesday, and yesterday I was dying. But, I am trying to keep warm and stuff myself with medicine. Hopefully it leaves soon.

My work has been okay, other than catching the plague. I have been busy, but fast. Which is what I needed this week, fast days. Not heard back from my driving instructor yet. Kind of want to book my next test, but I cant book if I dont have the car. *uch* I hate waiting on other people. I am so bloody impatient. I want to have passed my test by Christmas, at least.

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Oct. 4th, 2016

And like that, it's almost the start of another week, already.*sigh* I really, cant be bothered, I'll be okay when I get into work, but right now, the thought of going in is bleugh.

I do like my job, really. But having to leave the house for 6.15 is too early. Especially that I have slept in to after 9 the last few days I've had off. I think when you get up early every work day, it is nice to have a few days where you can get up a little bit later. I do need money, so I just have to think of that.

The weekend has been pretty quiet. I re-signed up for weightwatchers. Trying to give it a fresh go. I have been kind of going into things half hearted before. So, I have signed up, and gave their new app a go. Also have started up the gym again after not going for a few weeks. So, I created my new account and hoping to change a few things. I know for a fact, it is the late night snacking that is my big issue. So I will have my meal after work, and that is it. Tea and water are fine, but no food. Hopefully I can get out of the habit snacking when watching TV.

Why is change so bloody hard?

A Swing And A Miss

So I had my driving test on Monday, and was so nervous. I have never done well in tests or exams, as I panic horrifically. It was my downfall at school, and still is now. I panicked during the lesson, and clipped a kerb, and that one thing was enough to fail. Luckily that was the only thing I really did wrong, and it was a result of nerves. So, I am trying to go onwards, and book my next test, which can't happen till I get paid in a couple of days. Learning to drive is expensive.

Also, on Saturday, I went into work as normal, and found out that they were pulling compulsory overtime. This is something my work does to match 'business needs', as required. It used to only be the 4 weeks at Peak (busy period before Christmas), but now they call it whenever they think it will be slightly busy. So the management expected us to go into work on Sunday, as well as working Wednesday to saturday as normal. But because I had my driving test prep, I really couldn't go. So I had to swap it for yesterday, which I did. Was busy, but the extra money will be handy. But then today, I go in for my normal Wednesday shift, and they send 95% of my department home cause there was no work. So I had forced overtime, and others are being sent home!?! Needless to say, my work became very angry.

But, it has been a fast couple of days though. Which is nice, when work is concerned, anyway.

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Nervous

I have been trying to calm down all day. I have my driving test tomorrow, and I am so so nervous. I had a lesson today, and I made a lot of silly mistakes, which has made this nervous feeling worse. My instructor has tried to say that she tries to be less forgiving than an examiner is because it means I am aiming higher, but it makes me stressed.

So I am going to be doing my driving tomorrow, and talking myself through every maneuver. The good thing is, that if I fail, I should only have to wait 4 weeks or so for the next test. It is bad thinking of failing, but I was devastated when I failed my theory test. I dont want to cry or anything, which I did in Edinburgh outside the test centre.

Just have to calm down, and get to bed soon, and not panic. Have to read over the 'show me, tell me' stuff. Just need to remember to breathe.

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Today I had my second to last driving lesson. It couldn't have gone any better. So I have been on a high all day, because I finally feel ready for my practical test. Which in itself is quite scary.

I have been trying to decide what the best option is, for when I do pass. Is it going to be better to get an old run around or to get a newer car. The newer ones come with money off their insurance, and have less things wrong with them. The old cars may be cheaper to buy, but could break down. It's trying to figure out what is the best thing to do.

Back to work tomorrow. My driving test is on Monday, so the final countdown is on. So so excited. The bus service has got really bad around here, so I am happy at the prospect of not having to get the bus any more.

Hi there.

I am currently sittingin a mess of ‘stuff’, supposedly tidying up, but instead watching Bridget Jones’ Diary. Which is a strange film to watch when you think about writing a blog post. It’s funny what can motivate a person. Bridget is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine, always has been. I have always had a copy of both the movie and the book somewhere in my house. But this watching something happened, Bridget is 32. That is the same age I am now. And my life is a lot less organised than hers. At least my love life isn’t as disastrous, because mine is non-existant. Ah well, at least I don’t smoke.

I have been feeling a bit up and down the last few days. I seem to be feeling okay, but then something happens and it is like my brain completely over-reacts to it. It is so irrational. It is something that I have started to get used to, but I can’t help getting upset and then feeling really stupid for getting upset. It is a really bad cycle, and the more aware of it, the more anxious I get. And I just can’t focus on anything else but what ever stupid event happened that day. I am trying to train myself not to focus on the one bad thing that goes wrong in my day, but it is hard.

Long time, no see...

Whoops. I haven't posted in over a month. Not going to post loads of excuses (for a change). Instead of feeling like life is smothering me, life has been pretty good. Well the last few weeks has been anyway.

At the end of August I went to see Good Charlotte for the second time this year. And they were so good. And I got to meet Mikey Way from MCR as he was playing for Waterparks, as their guitar player was hurt. It was so so fun.

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If that wasn't enough, I have just come back from Malta, where I went on holiday to watch Scotland play in the first World Cup qualifier. It was 30 degrees every day, and was so so good.

Malta picturesCollapse )

As a result i am so happy. Totally relaxed and chilled out. That could be undone though, as I am back at work tomorrow.