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It's a struggle

So I woke up this morning, expecting to go and spend the day with my sister. The plan was to go shopping and have a day together. Something we haven't done in forever. But when I was tidying up this morning, she decided she was going out with her pal. I'll be honest, it left me a bit deflated. I had already been woken up early this morning by a panic attack and I couldn't breathe. And I just had another meltdown.

Thats every day in the last 2 weeks that I have cried my eyes out. It doesn't stick, but it means that every day falls to such a low. It's like I am constantly going round in circles, and my nerves are shot because of it. So I try to reach out for people, and they either ignore me or cancel. Which, doesn't help when I already feel so pathetic.

It's draining. I am trying to power on through, but it's hard. I'm wanting, so hard, for this year to continue to go well and end on a high, but I don't know how it's possible. Not right now anyway.

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dashie
sueriot
Sue Riot

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