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Welcome to the procastination station.

This blog has absorbed many hours of my time over the years, and yet I still struggle writing a proper intro. I mean, how is it possible to give a fitting introduction that entices people to read on. I'll just try and give a few vitals, and hope that is enough I guess. That sound okay? Cool.

I am Sue, live in Fife, Scotland. 30 year old arty dyke. I fangirl over bands and obsess over fictional characters. I write about what happens in my life, and general pondering about stuff that matters to me. Want to find out more, read away or click on the links below.

You can find me on   twitter: www.twitter.com/sueriotgraphics
                               Tumblr: www.sueriotgraphics.tumblr.com
                               LastFM: www.last.fm/user/sueriotgraphics
  Workie less personal blog: www.sueriotgraphics.wordpress.com


Tired tired tired

I worked overtime today, and whilst I need the money, I am super sore. I did a lot of steps which was good.

Going to sleep now.


Back On The Horse

You can probably understand that I have been avoiding thinking too much, with what has been going on lately. There have been times, where I would have been completely happy just staying in my bed, and not speaking to a soul all day. But, as the main source of income in my house, that is not something I can afford to do. 

I have been trying to go easy on myself, try not to be too critical when it comes to not doing things. But that has a habit of making me find excuses for doing ANYTHING. So, I just sitting watching Friends on Netflix, or Life in Japan videos on Youtube. Yes. I want to visit Japan. I don't think it is something I will get to do soon, but I can still dream about it. 

As for today, I am tired and I need my bed. My head is sore, my ankle is sore and my back is sore. Planning on going home, getting fish and chips, and having a long lie down in front of the telly, and watch Death In Paradise. I just need to relax tonight, and hopefully I get a chance. If I don't fall asleep on the bus home. 


Eating too much

This is one of those rare years, where I have set up some resolutions.

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Fell Behind A Bit

2017 was a bit of a disaster, creative wise. I only posted 11 entries on here last year. (Oops!) And, whilst I have every intention to pull myself into gear in 2018, I'll be honest and say that the year has started off a little bit of a total cuntbag shitfest. 


Well, just before Christmas, my 11 year old (second??)cousin, Owen, was out playing with his friends, when he felt really sick. His dad, my first cousin, took him to the doctors, and some blood tests were done, then sent them home. A few days later, Owen was complaining of chest pains, and went back to the doctors, this time with his mum. The doctor phone for an ambulance, saying it looked like Owen was experiencing a heart attack. He was taken to the Queen Margaret in Dunfermline, where they got him stabilised before transferring him to the Sick Kids, in Edinburgh. They weren't able to bring him round, as his heart rate started dropping when they tried, so they transferred him again, this time to a more specialised unit in Glasgow. 

Glasgow is where he stayed. The doctors tried their hardest, and Owen kept on fighting. But on Hogmanay, he had a second heart attack, followed by a stroke. My dad got a call last night, saying that Dylan, my first cousin, and his wife, Angie, were advised about switching off the life support. Owen's organs were failing and he had substantial brain damage, from the stroke. Today at 5pm, the life support was switched off, and Owen died. 

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Hey Stranger

I feel like every time I come on here, it is only after I have been away for a long time. For years the internet was a place I came to de-stress and it feels like that has changed recently. As a long time internet user, I have always found it easier for my private life to be kept separate from my online one. 

As a person who uses primarily blogging type services, that sounds really weird. But, I have been able to rant freely, without the fear of things getting back to people. I mean, the reason I reverted to posting online, was so that I didn't feel like a burden to people around me. It's a bit like that idea of complaining about a situation, to someone outside that situation. They can be un-bias and simply listen. 

In fact, sometime, noone has to even read what I write. It is just me getting it out of my head, and the internet is pretty good at documenting things, so I can look back and see any progress. It is good for me, especially when I am having bad days, and I can look back to when I was lonely and how unhappy I was all the time. I am aware that I still have problems to overcome, but I am better than I was and that is comforting. 

What isn't comforting is my family, who just think 'growing up' is the answer to mental health issues, reading stuff and being rather dickish about it. Making me feel bad about myself, when I was already struggling. It would be okay, if reading what bothered me, helped them understand. But it doesn't. 

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Fed Up

Today a lot of things have collided at the one time. I have those wonderful monthly female problems, which general makes me feel like I have a dead weight in my stomach. And my foot is still sore from a pulled muscle last week, my ankle is sore, cause my ankle is always sore, my opposite leg is sore cause I have been walking different cause of my foot, my shoulder is sore, my hands are both sore with one spasming just for good luck. Safe to say, I need put down, I think.

So i have been sore, and which means that I have struggled with work. But I did my best, which wasn't good enough. I felt so low I was in the toilet crying 4 times. I did get through the day, but only just.

Green Day is Tuesday, and I applied to get Wednesday off. Now, I automatically applied this morning, and it came back rejected. A week isnt much notice, so I kind of understood. Spoke to my manager, and he said there was too many people on holiday already. Okay, I thought, I'll just have to come in. But then I find out the holiday did go through. And now I am so confused. Like, how is it possible to reject and approve the same holiday?!?!

Technology is great, obviously.

Last Point Of The Weekend

I know it sounds bizarre to most people, but Tuesday night marks the end of my weekend. I work Wednesday to Saturday, which is a rather abnormal shift. But by working longer shifts over 4 days, I get a longer weekend. Which is always a good thing. Although, you can never have enough time for a weekend. If there was a way for me to doing what I want, when I want, I would be on it rapid. But, we normal folk have to work, so there's that.

This time, next week, I will be watching Green Day in Glasgow at Bellahouston Park. And, as per the traditional Scottish summer, it is going to be raining. So the forecast says anyway. But the main reason a paid for a ticket was for Rancid, who are my favourite band, and I will NEVER get to see them play in such a huge event in the UK. And then this week, they announced that The Skids would be supporting as well, and seeing as I missed out on their homecoming gig in Dunfermline, I am so stoked. It's going to be fun. And, I have booked a bus there and back, so that I don't have to worry about getting home.

It's always nice to have something to focus on, something positive to aim for. It makes it easier to do the day job stuff, if you are doing it for something. But a lot of people are getting fed up at work, because the management tend to dive round difficult conversations and dump folk in shit. By doing things like this, it makes people seem like they don't matter, and that they have done something wrong. Because of the number of people that are on shift at any one point, I think the managers try to make their own life easier. Where, I think they should be looking at every person as an individual, and treating them as such. But no, the hard workers, simply work away, whilst the serial complainers get what ever they want. Now I would complain, but I don't like feeling responsible for putting extra pressure on someone else, when I can do my job, despite it being boring. If I feel I am over-complaining, my anxiety gets triggered and I feel awful.

I think that is a problem though, most people don't have a place to vent. Over the years, I have got used to expressing my annoyances in writing, either on my computer or in a notebook. I think that if I didn't have a way to rant my feelings, I'd be like a bomb waiting to go off


Having a really crap week and day. Mental health is not good, and my foot is causing me agony.

So. As promised... a while ago. I thought I'd come on and post a picture of my wee car. Yes it still has its P plates on, but I still panic sometimes, so I feel like it is a warning system. He has no name yet, but is a Ford Focus. Really nice car, I love it to bits. Makes life so much easier now I don't have to bus it everywhere.


This was going to be an 'it's almost the weekend' and 'i got a car this week' post, but I cant focus on any of that.

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